My brain working out a conundrum with the following words

There is one problem I have with the philosophy of The Secret and books like it. And actually my resistance is to a book called The Law of Attraction by Esther and Jerry Hicks. About the book-A couple learns that the wife(Esther) is a transmitter to the spiritual realm. The spirit beings call themselves Abraham. Abraham describres itself as a group of non-physical beings who are communicating through Esther to teach. They explain that all humans are non-physical beings who chose to experience the physical. They also explain that humans have the power to create their own experience with thought. The Law of Attraction, as described in The Secret and a few other books, say that like attracts like. Since thoughts are vibrations, whatever we think we attract. So if we are thinking about always being in debt, or that we can't lose weight, or that we hate terrorists, or are hated because we're gay-then we attract the debt, obesity, disgusting people, and prejudice. So if we tweak our thoughts to abundance, or being slim, or being liked than we attract those things. Its basically thinking and feeling positively instead of negatively. My resistance to it is that it seems to ignore the Divine-the Divine being an energy or god or whatever you want to call it that is higher and seperate than self and its antithesis evil or satan or again whatever you want to call it.

To understand my struggle you have to understand my upbringing, my instincts, and my current beliefs. I was raised protestant Christian. Christians follow the rules they are taught, barely tolerate who they're told to barely tolerate, and preach that humans need to believe in Jesus Christ and jesus christ alone before their souls can enter heaven. Sure they can be bad while alive but they won't get as many rewards in heaven. Those who don't believe in God and his son Jesus will go to hell even if they are the kindest people alive. All others who believe something different will go to hell even if they've never heard of God and Jesus. That's why there are missionaries to spread the word of God. There are some admirable rules to christianity (i'm paraphrasing here) such as love others as you would like to be loved, don't throw stones at supposed sinners because you're just as bad, don't be so prideful that you believe you're better than others, women aren't as good as men-oh wait, that's not such a good one. Anyway there are some good words and some not so good words and then some just horrible words. And people read the Bible and take things out of context and take it too literally or too metaphorically and their interpretations become whole denominations. And its all based on a Bible that was written thousnads of years ago over a span of hundreds of years by men who claimed to be hearing the voice of God. It was then copied and recopied til there were bound to be mistakes, with whole books and whole passeges left out of some Bibles for various reasons. But many if not most christians don't even have spiritual connection to what they believe in. They believe it because its been pounded into them by parents, family, churches, governments, and even Charile Brown's Christmas and other media. And so it was punded into me. However I was always really connected to spirit. So I began to see the Bible and religions for what they were. As explained above. There are some good points and some bad points but they all have some form of the Golden Rule-treat others as you want to be treated. And so I've tried to make that my number one rule. Then I heard of The Secret and its Law of Attraction.

The Law of Attraction makes sense. I've seen it in my own life. I believe I can create my own happiness. I can attract what I want to me no matter what it is. ( It's a little hard for me to wrap my head around how a child can create their own existance-I have to read more to understand what they say about that. But that's not what I want to talk about right now.)What I am having the hardest time with is what the aforementioned Abraham says about evil. Being raised a christian I also learned that the devil is tricky creature. He can make others turn form God. He can get in your head and lure you to hate, kill, curse, do drugs, and all sorts of wicked wicked things. But the really tricky thing the devil can do is make you feel like a god. And the Law of Attraction and Abraham do just that. They even go so far as to say that evil doesn't exist-evil is just the unwanted being attracted to what we dont' want. What better way to get us to turn away from the one true God than make us believe we are all Gods who can control our own worlds. But here is the thing-all that about the devil and evil was pounded into me starting at an early age. And it was teaching based on a Bible that-well I don't have to go into it again what I think about the Bible. So if I go by what I believe than I should pay no attention to what I've been taught about the devil and his evil ways. Because even as a christian, I believed that just as dark is the absence of light not the opposite of it, so evil is the absence of good not the opposite of it- and that is just a fancy way of saying that evil is actually just the unwanted that we create for ourselves by attracting through our not wanting it. And then there is my instinct. I can't help feeling there is something bigger than me-a little more divine. But maybe that's becuase my physical self is not understanding, not knowing, my non-physical self. That makes sense too. So really it comes up to which am I going to choose. Or can I combine the two and live in harmony with both? Can I believe that there is a God and that we are also all in essence Gods who can create our own physical existance? Do I continue to not fear going to hell if I believe this way? Even the Bible talks about us being all parts of God-so maybe like with every other religion I've studied, its all the same, just different words used and different people interpreting the words, and focusing on which words they want to make into law.
So there I've sorted it out in my head and on screen for all to read and follow -or get horribly lost.

Mexico

Since people have asked: Mexico was dreamy We stayed at an all inclusive resort. Meaning room, food, drinks, and airfare were all included in the price. Wich was very reasonable. The resort had 3 or 4 seperate hotels each with there own huge buffet, gourmet restaurants, bar with live music every night, pools, theater with live entertainment, snack bar, and kid's club. It was on the Riveria Maya-an hour or so south of Cancun on the Carribean sea. The buildings were all very open-nearly wall less. Our third floor room had a postcard view of the beach. Geckos and Iguanas sunbathed wild( I can't say ran wild because they didn't do much running-unless one of the cats with unusually long tails or an adeline tried to chase it).
Justin decided we should all go on his return from Iraq. A little family vacation. Josh's parents, sister, two brothers and a girlfriend, (and adeline and me). Others were invited of course but that's who went. I think that's a great way for us all to spend time together as a whole.
The weather was comfortable-sometimes breezy-sometimes cloudy but still warm. It was humid but not stale. I have a completely wrong haircut for the humidity-it always looked pretty bad unless it was in a bandana-but I didn't care too much. It did get a little chilly at night but still tolerable even with tank tops and flip flops.
The food was great. It was very easy to eat healthy(or not if you so chose). Fruit and bread were always available for snacking on. A mariachi band weaved through the tables at dinner time. I ate lots of fresh guacamole and chips and drank watermelon water. Adeline had mostly pastas and meats. Josh got food poisoning and was laid up for a day. He has a very sensitive stomach and eating buffet every meal combined with a nasty flaming tequila shot made for very good odds of him getting sick.
We snorkeled, splashed in the ocean, played in the pools, and walked along the beach. Adeline is a mermaid. She could spend all day in the pool. But I didn't want to sit by a pool-which we could do anywhere. So we compromised. In the morning we could do the pool thing and after lunch we could hang out by or in the ocean. I even sunbathed topless.
We shopped a little for typical mexican tourist stuff. We sat around and read, rested, chatted, drank fruity drinks, or watched people. At night Adeline loved to dance to the band. By bedtime we were always exhausted. We only stayed up late enough to see one live show. It was the circus one-like cirque de sol-whatever. It was impressive.
One day we vistited an ancient Mayan city called Tulum. It was the sunniest hottest day. The beach there was the most beautiful beach I've ever seen.
We didn't take many pictures. I looked horrible in all the pictures I was in. I think because I so wanted to be pregnant by the time we got there that I did in fact look pregnant in every picture. Part of that whole law of attraction thing. We got some great shots of the beach though. And josh made a little movie of Adeline dancing. She also took some pictures. There's a great one of a dead gecko on the lobby floor as well as some lovely potted plants.
Customs was easy. Air travel was fine. The language barrier wasn't that big of deal. I recomend it for anyone looking for a warm, relaxing, and nearly hassle free get a way.