I believe that we get out of life what we expect but I must expect the unexpected. For the most part I also expect that everything will turn out as it should. For Pippi's birth I had a few plans of action worked out for a few different scenarios-as I often do-but it still happened in an unexpected way.
Of a few things I was certain: I knew that giving birth in the hospital would be okay if Becki Harris was my midwife. I knew that I wanted a drug free labor and birth, a hands-off approach from the nurses, and freedom to deliver in any position. Of course that's what I got.
I had some concerns-I wasn't sure what to do with ZoraJane during the process-she's not accustomed to other people caring for her in my absence and she needs my booby or a car ride to got sleep. I also wasn't sure where I was going to deliver. With ZoraJane my water broke unexpectedly and I delivered two hours later-but I just happened to be in the process of getting released from the hospital after some testing when it happened. I knew that if my water broke with Pippi and labor started hard and fast afterwards I wouldn't be up to riding an hour to RC. So I planned for a potential homebirth. The problem with that is we'd have to do it ourselves and we really felt more comfortable with some assistance. I didn't want the nearest local midwife because I didn't "click" with her and I didn't agree with some of her political beliefs. Besides, I wanted MY midwife but she only works in the hospital. In the event of a hospital birth, Adeline felt comfortable watching ZoraJane if someone else was there to help her so we asked my mom to be available to hang out with them in a nearby hotel room or the hospital.
I'd been having mild contractions for several months-nothing to be concerned about. In fact the whole pregnancy I had no physical concerns. I think I was too busy chasing after ZoraJane to really worry. I was thankful that I was pregnant during the warm months though because I was able to get out of the house to be active and be surrounded by nature and my friends.
The weekend it happened Josh's dad was staying with us. He'd come to the hills to attend a wedding but told Josh that if he was needed he'd stay longer. When Josh told me that my heart really warmed toward Lloyd. I think that combined with seeing the way ZoraJane was really digging hanging out with her Grandpa gave me the okay (subconsciously) that I had no concerns left.
On Sunday Josh and Lloyd were in the backyard preparing to grill. The girls and I were hanging out in the house. I'd just blown up the exercise ball in case I needed to labor on it in case of a homebirth. I was watching TV -excited that the newest DOCTOR WHO was going to be on and sitting on the ball. I felt a small pop and a little fluid. As I rushed to the bathroom Josh was coming upstairs so I asked him if wanted to go to the hospital. Once in the bathroom though I wasn't sure-it could easily have been pee. I threw on a sundress (just in case) while Josh and his dad put away the food. While changing more of my water started breaking so I knew it really was happening. I had no contractions so we didn't rush too much to leave. It's funny, I don't remember much about Adeline or ZoraJane at this time. I think I was already starting to focus inward and Josh's Dad really stepped up and started taking care of the other girls. We lay chux pads and towels in the front seat of the Durango (Lloyd's vehicle) because we thought it would be roomier and more comfortable to labor in. Lloyd and the girls drove Josh's truck to RC. I didn't have many contractions on the way there and the few I had were very mild-but I did leak a lot. Internally I was a little panicky because it was REALLY time to start caring for another baby- but I remained calm.
We all hung out in the labor room and my contractions slowly started increasing in pain and frequency. I could tell the nurse was not used to the kind of delivery I planned. She tried explaining to me what she was going to do about monitoring and vaginal checks. I just smiled and nodded because I knew once my midwife (Becki) arrived I wouldn't have to "fight" for my right to do it my way. Fortunately it didn't take her too long to show up.
The contractions intensified. Lloyd, Adeline and ZoraJane relocated to the waiting room and my midwife left to change. I walked around and labored. I cried. Mentally I wasn't ready to take care of two babies but my body was ready to give me another one. By the time Becki got back I was nearly ready to push and she told me to go ahead when I felt the need. I assumed the position-standing facing the side of the bed. Josh stood beside me and my Becki was on the floor behind me. I grasped the blankets and squatted into the contractions. I hissed through a contraction for Josh to stop kissing me-I needed my space as my body felt like it was expanding and ripping into a million pieces. I felt the ring of fire and was strangely comforted. The pain disappeared as her head emerged. I screamed as I made the final push to bring her into the world. Three hours after my water broke with only about an hour of intense labor and I met the new human who chose us for her family.
Becki (and I think the nurse) helped me get untangled from the cord so I could hold my baby. Josh and I sat on the bed and I nursed her. When the cord stopped pulsing Josh cut it. Becki found it to be tied in a knot from Pippi swimming it into loops and then swimming through them. Several minutes later the family came back in to meet the new member: Vivian Pippilotta Houchin Morrison
