The New Year is right around the corner. Time for bunches of looking back on what the year held for individuals, society, government, finances, etc. Yeah, I'm not really into that. Breaking up my life into yearly summarizations-not for me. But I do love our New Year celebrations. Last year was the smallest, and most impromptu. I was pregnant and we didnt' expect anyone. But Justin and Liz drove here at the last minute. It was cool because we got to hang out with them without any other family dynamic. I didn't even bother going downtown to see the ball drop-too cumbersome carrying around the ball in my belly.
This year is going to be crowded though. And a big plus in my opinion is the addition of kids at this years celebration. People are finally catching on to the idea that having the kids around when celebrating can be a good time. Of course gramma Jane is coming too and will take care of the kids (except mine) when the adults want to get a little more rowdy and go places kids aren't allowed. But the majority of time hopefully will be spent at the house. We'll eat lots of yum yums, drink some good wine, beer, and soda, water, milk or mama milk for the kiddies, play wii, talk, laugh, and maybe even shake our boom booms.
The combination of kids and adult drinkers got me to thinking why some people have such a hard time allowing the two groups to mingle. Particulary my family-both my ma's side and my biological dad's side. On both sides there is an underlying religous reason to not drink at all. But aside from that I realized that combining kids and the adult drinkers in my family is dangerous. Drinking doesn't take a person away from reality so much as it lessons that's barrier between our ego and our true self. The depressed, angry, unhappy individuals that make up half my family just becomes a more extreme group of depressed, angry, and unhappy people-not to mention the pediphile who also used to be a drinker. But in my experience the Morrisons (for the most part) are still the same people wether they are drinking or not. There is a little less inhibition but its of the good kind-less shyness, the funny gets funnier, and there's more free flowing conversation. None of us are drinking to feel less lonely, give us the confidence to confront someone, give us the self esteem to get laid, or the strength to beat up our brother. Plus I think most of us know our limits well enough to not get so s**t faced that we can't take care of our kids when they need us. Its a good time with the Morrisons and the kids that we're attatched to. With the Morrisons its always a party wether there is drinking or not.
And while there was no drinking with the Barry's over Christmas eve-it was still a party. A huge bonfire has become our annual tradition-it used to be board games. There's lots of laughing, eating, chatting, opening presents, and sometimes picture taking of the grandkids and great grandkids in front of the tree. Its cool becuase the little kiddies are taking over again-a new generation. I wish we had more celebrations with the Barry's. Not as uninhibited of a party but still a good time.
Monday, December 29, 2008
Thursday, December 18, 2008
gramma Jane's matching outfit pose ideas
"What the...who...what's going on here!"
cousin Mirabelle eyeing Zi's candy cane
christmas angels-its sooo precious
cousin Mirabelle eyeing Zi's candy cane
christmas angels-its sooo precious
Saturday, December 06, 2008
After the Long Weekend
Spent Thanksgiving in Mitchell. Some thoughts occurred to me while there or on the ride back. I came up with some things I could have said had I been part of the conversation but wasn't -either because I heard about them from Josh or I just chose not to participate. Some realizations hit me about myself and my life. Here's some thoughts...
A response in a conversation about unschooling (I wasn't there)...
"The really wonderful thing about Unschoolers is that we are generally secure enough in ourselves that we don't feel the need to justify our decision or even explain it to people who aren't genuinley interested or aren't even open enough to listen to and learn about what we have to say."
What I am thankful for...
I love my family-on my side and Josh's. I think my family is truely wonderful on so many levels. I enjoy being with them. Eating, drinking, talking, laughing, and playing with them. I also like hanging with strangers-I think there is something interesting to learn about or from everyone. However I feel so much more at peace when with friends. I've chosen friends who are supportive of me (and Josh) and all our ideas and plans. Friends who respond positively when we talk about what we want to do in life and what we think about life. My friends are, or at least trying to be, tolerant and accepting of all people. I know there are people who are not like my friends and I love and accept them. I even like being around them most the time-just not for too long. Its hard to maintain a positive loving attitude when constantly met with negativity and resistance. I'm learning to maintain a good attitude and kind heart even in those situations. But that's just it-I'm still learning. Its still hard but its good practice. So I am extremeley thankful for friends but I am also thankful for the people who teach me to be a person who is happy no matter what.
A second chance...
I missed a lot in Adeline's life because I wasn't "there" emotionally -Little milestones that I can't remember and didn't bother to write down -The wonderment in her eyes as she learned about her world -The understanding of her as she goes through the process of becoming human and my unconditional love to go along with it. Its so different with Zi. I have support from friends and my partner. I wanted to be a mother to a baby. And I was ready for all the things that goes along with it-the lack of alone time, the responsibility of being the person another human is dependant upon, the change in family dynamics, the commitment to let another human into our world and let her be who she is and not who we expect her to be. These are things I'm still learning to do with Adeline but so far have come easy with Zi. I wish I could have experienced them earlier with Adeline but thankful I get to experience them now.
A change of heart...
I prefer to stay home with my kids rather than go out and "party". I have enjoyed nights out in the past and foresee enjoying them in the future. It used to bother me that Josh could go out while I had to stay home with Adeline. For most of our years together I was the only one in his family who had a kid. No one else saw the fun of staying at home and letting the kids participate in the festivities. I grew up always being a part of the party. The kids played with each other and sometimes hung with the adults while they chatted, played board and card games, ate, and sometimes drank. The adults included us in conversation and play. But so much of the partying with Josh's family doesn't include the kids. Josh went out over Thanksgiving while I stayed at the farm with the girls. I can honestly say that for once it didn't bother me. The bar was extra smokey, the coversation revolved around war and other coversations that I didn't want to get into. And frankly I just enjoyed so much being around my kids instead. One of the reasons I like hanging with the Mother's Collective people is that they do adult things, they're not afraid to drink or talk about anything, yet they include the kids. I wish I had that with family too-especially now that many of them are having kids too. But even if I don't I think I'd still rather hang with my kids than talk trash and get so drunk I couldn't take care of myself let alone my kids if they needed me. I don't think I'll worry about feeling left out anymore.
Finally...
I'm excited again about the holidays.
A response in a conversation about unschooling (I wasn't there)...
"The really wonderful thing about Unschoolers is that we are generally secure enough in ourselves that we don't feel the need to justify our decision or even explain it to people who aren't genuinley interested or aren't even open enough to listen to and learn about what we have to say."
What I am thankful for...
I love my family-on my side and Josh's. I think my family is truely wonderful on so many levels. I enjoy being with them. Eating, drinking, talking, laughing, and playing with them. I also like hanging with strangers-I think there is something interesting to learn about or from everyone. However I feel so much more at peace when with friends. I've chosen friends who are supportive of me (and Josh) and all our ideas and plans. Friends who respond positively when we talk about what we want to do in life and what we think about life. My friends are, or at least trying to be, tolerant and accepting of all people. I know there are people who are not like my friends and I love and accept them. I even like being around them most the time-just not for too long. Its hard to maintain a positive loving attitude when constantly met with negativity and resistance. I'm learning to maintain a good attitude and kind heart even in those situations. But that's just it-I'm still learning. Its still hard but its good practice. So I am extremeley thankful for friends but I am also thankful for the people who teach me to be a person who is happy no matter what.
A second chance...
I missed a lot in Adeline's life because I wasn't "there" emotionally -Little milestones that I can't remember and didn't bother to write down -The wonderment in her eyes as she learned about her world -The understanding of her as she goes through the process of becoming human and my unconditional love to go along with it. Its so different with Zi. I have support from friends and my partner. I wanted to be a mother to a baby. And I was ready for all the things that goes along with it-the lack of alone time, the responsibility of being the person another human is dependant upon, the change in family dynamics, the commitment to let another human into our world and let her be who she is and not who we expect her to be. These are things I'm still learning to do with Adeline but so far have come easy with Zi. I wish I could have experienced them earlier with Adeline but thankful I get to experience them now.
A change of heart...
I prefer to stay home with my kids rather than go out and "party". I have enjoyed nights out in the past and foresee enjoying them in the future. It used to bother me that Josh could go out while I had to stay home with Adeline. For most of our years together I was the only one in his family who had a kid. No one else saw the fun of staying at home and letting the kids participate in the festivities. I grew up always being a part of the party. The kids played with each other and sometimes hung with the adults while they chatted, played board and card games, ate, and sometimes drank. The adults included us in conversation and play. But so much of the partying with Josh's family doesn't include the kids. Josh went out over Thanksgiving while I stayed at the farm with the girls. I can honestly say that for once it didn't bother me. The bar was extra smokey, the coversation revolved around war and other coversations that I didn't want to get into. And frankly I just enjoyed so much being around my kids instead. One of the reasons I like hanging with the Mother's Collective people is that they do adult things, they're not afraid to drink or talk about anything, yet they include the kids. I wish I had that with family too-especially now that many of them are having kids too. But even if I don't I think I'd still rather hang with my kids than talk trash and get so drunk I couldn't take care of myself let alone my kids if they needed me. I don't think I'll worry about feeling left out anymore.
Finally...
I'm excited again about the holidays.
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