*This isn’t news to any of my many friends who’ve given birth at home-but for those who don’t understand why anyone would want to.
What most OBs, many Nurses, and some CNMs don’t realize is that they are not responsible for my labor and delivery. Their role in this process is to occasionally check that it is progressing naturally and to intervene only if it is not. By “naturally” I don’t mean “normal”. There are lots of “normals” when referring to childbirth. Normal is not induced labor, painkillers, or being strapped to an IV and monitors. Normal is not harsh lights, odd smells, unfamiliar faces and hands. Mothers of all kinds have been doing this naturally and successfully for many years compared to the medicalized and intrusive way that has become so routine and acceptable. I am thankful for medical advances that could save me or my baby if needed. However a lot of the problems that so commonly arise in hospital births are a direct result of it being a hospital birth. The unfamiliarity of the setting and the people, the expectation of something going wrong, the many germs, the fairly strict guidelines of what a labor and birth is supposed to look like and how long its supposed to last all contribute to the kind of scary birth that we’re all familiar with either from experience or from what’s portrayed on tv.
I do not appreciate the taking over of my body and my baby when we are trying to do something natural. Imagine you’re at home in your bathroom taking a crap-the door is locked, you have some nice reading material, the lighting and air temperature is comfortable. You have all the time you need and the only people in your house are ones you’re familiar with. Now how would you feel if a rotating staff of uniformed nurses barged into your bathroom every few seconds and demanded you spread your legs and lean back so they could poke fingers in your crack. They’ve already hooked you up to some machines to make sure the waste is traveling through your digestive track within a given number of minutes. Then another uniformed person, this one ranking higher than the nurses, comes in and tells you its time to push. He/she keeps their eyes and hands fixed down there. Because you’re so uncomfortable you might not be able to push that pile of poo out. So the much more qualified person gives you an injection to progress things faster. But those injections cause you extremely painful cramping so they decided to jab a needle into your spine to ease the pain. Now you don’t feel anything and you can’t push so they decide to cut you open and dig in with their tools to clean you out. Hopefully the medications haven’t caused permanent damage to your nervous system but you still have to recover, not only from the cuttings and jabbings, but from the emotional scarring of being violated and taken over in the first place. Let’s pretend that somehow you where comfortable enough to open up that sphincter and begin pushing. Halfway through the person tells you to stop pushing so they can examine your poo “real quick” to make sure its all okay. Once its all done, your finally wiped and washed and dressed again but you’re still left with the feeling that something was not quite right.
The whole scenario sounds ridiculous but it’s only a slight exaggeration of how many women, including myself, feel during a hospital birth. Personally I don’t want to do it all at home with only my partner and daughter to assist me-currently that is the only legal homebirth in SD. My family is not qualified if something should go wrong and I would feel uncomfortable in that situation as well ( However I do applaud the bravery, confidence, and willingness to take responsibility of those who do choose to do it at home assisted only by partners and family.) For me I would like the choice to have a qualified and experienced person to assist my homebirth. Someone like that knows if there is a need to get to a hospital. Unfortunately not only is it illegal to have someone qualified assist a homebirth but I don’t live close enough to a hospital qualified to do births or take care of me and my baby if something should go wrong. It’s all very frustrating.
Despite the insistence of the media and medical community, a hospital birth is not a normal birth and shouldn’t be forced upon us. The law gives me the choice to take responsibility for driving my car, cooking my meals, raising my kids, wearing seasonally appropriate clothing, remodeling my house, and crossing a busy street. Sure I take the time to educate myself on how to do those things and if I don’t feel qualified I hire a professional and at least someone to assist me. Some people are more comfortable letting a professional do it all for them-and that’s fine even if you’re a pregnant woman who wants all that comes with a hospital birth. If you want statistics or proof that home births are safe than read the successful birth stories found in books like those authored by Ina May Gaskin or magazines like Mothering- look at the success rates in other countries where midwives and homebirths are the norm-and don’t forget to look at the things that do go wrong in a typical hospital birth and if those things could’ve been prevented if medical intervention hadn’t been forced in the first place. All I want is the choice but we don’t even have the option here. All I want is the freedom to pursue my happiness.
Meanwhile I continue to educate myself and prepare myself mentally and emotionally and hope for the best despite the circumstances.
