ZoraJane's birth story

Adeline and I tried to prepare for a natural hospital birth by watching You Tube videos. But other than them being drug free, we couldn’t see what was so natural about them. Most still consisted of the standard back lying position with nurses holding down the knees, glaring lights, and a doctor coldly instructing when to push. One video we liked was a home birth with a supportive partner and midwife. She moved around as she pleased taking advantage of different positions eventually giving birth on her hands on knees on a mattress on the floor. Candles provided light and relaxing chanting music played in the background. Despite my trust in my Midwife and Doula a part of me wanted to walk into the woods, build a den and do this thing by myself. I wished for something primal or at least away from anything medical. Although I’d been working on my fears I still had reservations about a hospital labor and birth.
Our tentative plan was to get a hotel room in Rapid once I noticed I was in labor. Then we’d go to the hospital as close to the last minute as possible. If I happened to pop out a baby before we could make it to the hospital than so be it. That was the plan.
During my last appointment my blood pressure was high-even after resting-and the swelling was going beyond normal. I’d also begun to have bloody show which is common in the last weeks of pregnancy when the cervix begins to dilate and efface. At least the ultra sound showed she wasn’t breech-something that was still difficult to tell through palpitation alone. We finished our errands and visits in Rapid and then headed home where I was supposed to get bed rest and continue to monitor my blood pressure.
Bed rest is not easy! Sure I like a good nap, vegging out in front of the tv, or losing myself in a book for several hours. But I was restless. I wanted to finish cleaning and organizing the house, get some meals prepared and frozen, shop for a few more items I’d want or need for when the baby arrived, and I still needed to pack an overnight bag.
Two days after my appointment my blood pressure wouldn’t go down so I called the clinic. The OB instructed me to go to Rapid right away for some monitoring, lab work, and 24 hour pee test. I kept kicking myself for even calling in the first place. I felt like it was a waste of time. I knew my blood pressure was high due to my swelling, lack of sleep, and my refusal to stay bed ridden: not because of pre-eclampsia. I finished baking my chicken, showered, had Adeline pack a bag of stuff, and packed my overnight bag because I didn’t know how long I had to stay for testing and it would be 8:30pm before we even got to Rapid. Two hours later when Josh got home we left for Rapid. We checked in through the ER, lied to the nurse about Adeline’s age so she could join us, and were taken to maternity. It was a roomy labor and delivery room with a desk, daybed, sink, and tv on one side beside the hospital bed. A larger part of the room had monitors, cabinets, a bathroom, a baby warmer, and lots of floor space. I was hooked up to machines to monitor my blood pressure, blood Oxygen, contractions, and the baby’s heart beat. The nurse had me lie on my left side facing the homier side of the room where Josh and Adeline sat. She showed us how to read the monitors, set the blood pressure for every ten minutes then left the room.
Despite some joking around, the fairly comfortable atmosphere (for a hospital), and attempts of hugs and reassurance, Adeline was visibly shaken. I think a mix of hunger, boredom, seeing me hooked up to machines, and the lie made her uncomfortable. Because she was so nervous we reminded her that she had the choice to stay somewhere else when we came back for the delivery-that she’d have a few days to think about it some more and to see how she felt later into the testing.
While the hours passed we discussed where we could grab a bite at that hour, watched some comedy channel, and checked the monitors. Josh and Adeline kept me informed about my decreasing blood pressure and the occasional contraction they noticed on the screens. The sound of the heart beat was lulling us into relaxation. About 2½ hours later the OB dropped by, checked the charts, and gave us the okay to be discharged. The nurse went to prepare a take home pee test kit and to check if the Deadwood hospital could do those labs to save us another trip to Rapid. I stayed hooked up to the machines. Several minutes later I felt fluid leaking from my nether region but I wasn’t sure if it was the pee I’d been holding. A few minutes later I felt a pop and a more substantial amount of fluid rushing out of me. My nurse came back and confirmed that my water did break-we laughed about it because she’d just finished doing what was necessary to get me discharged and now I had to be checked in. I called my mom to tell her that Josh would be bringing Adeline to her house. The midwife was called. It was midnight and I figured it would take several hours for active labor to begin so I decided to wait closer to morning to call my doula. By the time my midwife arrived the contractions were close and intense and I was slipping into my dreamy coping-with-the-pain place. I had Josh call my mom to come get Adeline because I didn’t want him to be gone for the half hour plus it would take for him to take her. As the nurses rushed to finish checking me in I continued to slip into myself-Josh had to answer several of the questions they asked so I could breathe through the contractions. Finally the questions were done, Adeline was comfortably with my mom, the monitors were removed, and the lights were dimmed. I tried lying on my side, walking around, sitting on my hands and knees on the bed, and thought a bout taking a shower. My midwife suggested I call my doula but by then I was too far in my own place and just shook my head no. Finally I just leaned over the raised bed facing the comfy part of the room. My midwife reminded me to breath slow and moan low. Josh was beside me-not in my way but not out of it either. He didn’t coach-he knows to let a mother just be from his experience growing up on a farm. I leaned on him, puked in a bag he held, squeezed his hand and almost bit his thumb before I realized I should maybe bite the blankets instead. For most the labor I leaned over the bed with my head buried in blankets and hair. I squatted through contractions with little rest in between. I was primal-moaning, humming, breathing, swearing, and sweating. The only face I occasionally caught a glimpse of was Josh’s-everyone else was behind me and I stayed in my head.
Two hours after my water broke I felt her there ready to be pushed out. Only toward the end did my midwife have to encourage me to push because I was so tired. Josh only left my side once when a nurse convinced him to see the head-he only peeked briefly-he wasn’t all that interested in seeing the ickiness of it. As I made the final pushes I remembered all the pictures I’d seen of the yoni depicted as a blossoming flower and tried to imagine my own body opening to allow a human through. She gave a small cry before she was fully out and seconds later she was in the midwife’s hands. Josh stood by her holding her hand while they did their thing (she was a little floppy). I stripped off my gown-although it was already nearly off hanging from my neck and arms-no modesty-and I climbed into the bed. Only a few minutes later my baby was brought to me.
For all the fears I had about a hospital birth I couldn’t have asked for a better experience. My nurse was so friendly and supportive. Other nurses came up later impressed with what they’d witnessed. My midwife let me do what my body needed to do and intervened only when my ego got in the way. Plus I didn’t have to clean up any of the mess. I assumed my home would be the only place I could have an ideal birth. But I discovered with the right support, keeping informed of all my options, staying educated on all things pregnancy and birth, and trusting in myself I could have an ideal labor and delivery even in a medical setting